FINDING SOLACE IN MY INTROVERSION

I used to think I was an extrovert.

Turns out, I’m an introverted piece of queer.

Let’s get the main misconception out of the way—introverts are shy and extremely quiet.

Nope. Ask my partner, my friends, and my family. I can be annoyingly loud. That’s the catch, though. That’s only around people I’m comfortable with. Once I’m with strangers, it’s a different story.

I’ve mentioned this to Lana before. How I thought I was extroverted growing up because I was always around groups of people. What I didn’t notice was, I was also always under the influence of alcohol.

Looking back, it’s obvious that drinking was my escape—a way of silencing my social anxieties. Smoking was an added crutch too, and it was a sturdy one.

I know. The implication of this truth on my confidence when I was young is strikingly loud. It’s all clicking now.

I never raised my hand in class.
I never volunteered to be the leader.
I honestly never wanted to attract attention.
I was always scared of voicing my thoughts.

The funniest thing about this is I ended up being a teacher, which I think is a beautiful exception. My confidence flows when I know what I’m doing and I know exactly why I’m there.

The classroom has always been my safe space as an adult. I’ve never felt scared of facing my kids. I guess it’s also because I see them as more than just students—I consider them a special part of my bubble.

But work outside the classroom is no different from the real world, meaning I also maintained a small circle of teacher friends back home. I can never vibe with everyone, and I don’t ever want to force that. I value genuine connections.

Being here in Japan has given me time to fully embrace my introverted side. It’s so loud here—the realization that I prefer keeping to myself. Probably because I’m exposed to diverse cultures and personalities.

On top of that, there’s this huge language barrier at work. My default is to quietly exist day in and day out. Yeah, peace has never been this abundant in my everyday life. It's surprising how much I actually need it, but I'm grateful just the same.

Because I would rather dissect my thoughts in silence and give myself time to breathe before putting my ideas out there. My best outputs have always been the ones I spent time crafting alone.

This is why writing vibes so well with me. There’s something extraordinary about it.

It’s the freedom to be myself during the creative process that allows me to let my ideas marinate and transform into something worth sharing.

Every day, I learn and hone my skills to clearly articulate my identity as an unorthodox individual. And these past weeks, I’ve gone through one particular process alone that led me to gain clarity about my bigger mission.

I hope you don’t get sick of me, but I’ve quietly rebranded the past few days. Again. Because I’d like to have the same message across all platforms.

It’s been a winding journey trying to find my bigger-picture goals. But things are clearer now:

I’m leaning into my true identity. I want to establish my presence as the introverted and queer creator who celebrates uniqueness through their writing.

I'm here to help people like me who feel isolated, marginalized, unseen, and unheard in one way or another. These diverse voices deserve to be heard, to embrace their truth, and to find their place in the world.

Life is tough, but having a tribe that truly empathizes makes it easier to bear. So, if you ever feel invisible at any given point, I encourage you to keep choosing these 5 things:

Introspection: Reflecting on your past, present, and future self. They’re not the same, and they shouldn’t be. Understanding who you are is the only way to translate your genuine energy to others. I choose to look inward.
Looking in from afar: As an outsider and introvert, I prefer silently figuring things out. But it doesn’t mean I don't seek guidance. I have trustworthy people who keep me grounded. When I can’t find my way out, I reach out to them. I choose peace of mind.
Keeping it small: I don’t need everyone (duh), no matter how cool or value-packed they are. The world is already too loud. If a few people can give me solid friendships, that’s more than enough. I choose genuine connections.
Stop blending in: Don't be afraid to stand out and let your true self shine through. I learned that sharing parts of who I am in my stories and letting my guard down resonates with people more. I choose to stand out with vulnerability.
Detachment: I can never control the results; I can only let go and watch where my hard work takes me. The tighter I clutch the process, the more I suffocate my growth. I choose to loosen my grip.

Now say it with me:

I choose to look inward.
I choose peace of mind.
I choose genuine connections.
I choose to stand out with vulnerability.
I choose to loosen my grip.

Hope that helps 😄

Gonna shut up now.

Talk soon,

Jopaz

P.S. Shout out 📣 to my new friends who found me on X.

You’re the reason I'm now sharing tailored content that captures my bigger mission. Welcome, and I’m thrilled to have you here! 🙇