EXPOSING MY UNMASKED AUTHOR TRUTH

EXPOSING MY UNMASKED AUTHOR TRUTH
Photo by Jopaz Baquirin

U.I. PROLOGUE

The truth.

It all began in 2020.

Back when the world came to an overwhelming halt, my life did too.

My people are probably sick of hearing this story over and over.

But you have to understand, that most writers discover their love for the craft in the process of getting over dark phases.

Grief, heartbreak, loss, failure, frustration, or even depression.

At the time, mine felt like all of that combined.

U.I. CHAPTER I:

THE ESCAPE

And so I started writing and sharing stories into the void.

I wasn’t expecting anything to come out of it, really. I was simply doing it to vent. So I kept at it.

To make my mind wander. To sit with my emotions and make sense of them.

I’ve created a universe of my own with characters that lived in that new world.

Eventually, quite unexpectedly, it wasn’t just mine anymore.

People started following my characters' journeys. And for months on end, I lived in that space with them.

Talk about a sense of escape.

The sad thing is that nobody truly escapes the darkness.

My real life was filled with uncertainty. It was grim. I felt so empty. And sure it showed.

The dark chapters were pitch black. I was pulling scenes from experiences.

People laughed. They also cried. And they cried hard.

What they didn't know, the story was 60/40. 60% real life. 40% imagination.

They fell in love with the book.

I fell in love with writing.

My quarantine involved learning how to structure a basic novel from start to finish.

Understanding character development. Dreaming up scenes. Writing drafts, editing, proofreading. Learning basic website design. Tinkering with writing software.

All on my own. In my quiet little dark childhood room.

I used to think I was wasting my time writing these 'lame' stories.

Looking back now, I can see how much I was stacking important skills along the way.

They just couldn’t be fully developed.

Because even that, had to end. The real universe burst that bubble.

U.I. CHAPTER II:

THE JAPAN TIMES

As my characters capped off their adventures, I had to embark on a new one.

Not long after, I was on a plane to Tokyo.

The Japan dream has been pushed back multiple times. But it was finally happening, putting my author phase on hold.

I didn’t have the luxury of time that the pandemic offered. It was back to the grind of having a job. Teaching.

This time in a different country where I needed to adjust. My focus shifted. I was around new people.

I had other things to learn. The language. Electric guitar. Similar to my writing experience, I was obsessed with getting better at playing.

The sequel to that book got shoved in the backseat. Until now I haven’t gotten around to finishing it. I published several chapters initially, but then life kept getting in the way.

What I was consistently doing, though, was writing social media posts.

My stories included anecdotes of my day. The captions were long and pure. Somehow, that gave me the thrill of putting something out there for people to read.

But somehow, having so much to say in my posts had others poking fun at me. Albeit not very obviously.

This was about the time I was riding the initial waves of culture shock. My environment started feeling off. Work started feeling even more frustrating.

And what did I do?

I turned to cigarettes, alcohol, music, writing only for myself, and more alcohol.

The dark phase crept back into my world.

Just like that.

U.I. CHAPTER III:

THE AWAKENING

It went on.

Until I felt the exhaustion.

All at once.

I thought to myself, enough is enough. Nobody’s pulling me out of this rut but me.

I have been pining over phantom pain. From a breakup that happened in 2020. It was about time I let it all go. And so I did.

Real growth began.

I allowed myself to properly grieve the loss. Got rid of excuses and faced reality.

My flaws and mistakes were mine to own. I couldn't believe how low I allowed myself to go.

But it wasn’t about anybody else now. It was just me.

Towards the end of 2022, I was a completely different person.

By the time 2023 hit, I found my person.

She sparked more inspiration in me than anybody ever has.

U.I. CHAPTER IV:

THE BIRTH OF UNORTHODOX

Then came the world of self-improvement.

Who else would resonate but the OG Mark Manson? If there’s a voice that echoed mine, it would be his.

I stumbled upon his articles before recalling he had a book. Subtle Art definitely is a must-read.

His work pulled me back into writing. Remember grief, heartbreak, loss, failure, frustration, or even depression? I admit, I still gravitate toward these themes.

There’s just something about ripping your heart open and letting your emotions bleed onto the page. Nothing beats the realness of being human.

But I had another problem. I wanted a platform.

My social media posts felt like I was writing for the wrong people. So I started repurposing my story website for my newsletter.

If you know anything about website building, you'd understand how I don't have enough time to do backend stuff anymore.

Stressing over all of that only robbed me of my writing hours. So I tried other platforms like Medium.

That also didn't last very long. I realized what I truly wanted was a tiny corner of the internet to let my stories breathe.

Fortunately, I discovered Ghost. Not having to worry about plugins and technicalities, freed up more time for me to actually write.

It wasn't a super complicated process to launch my newsletter in November 2023. And my motivation behind it was pretty simple.

To have an archive of my thoughts that some random person can learn from if they ever come across them.

I cannot be happier for getting over that fear of sharing what goes through my mind, even with the risk of people poking fun at me.

U.I. EPILOGUE

6 months in and I'm still doing it.

I didn't think I was gonna stick it out this long.

It's been the best source of therapy for all the dark phases I had to get over.

These are pieces I can be proud of.

Pieces brought about by heartbreak, loss, joy, and love.

And I wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for letting them breathe in your inboxes.


Talk to you next week,

Jopaz