ŌSAKA’S LIFE AND SOUL—DŌTONBORI: 3 SOULFUL STORIES YOU NEED TO KNOW

When people hear Ōsaka, they think takoyaki, okonomiyaki, Kobe beef, Dōtonbori, and Glico Man.

Not me.

I had no clue what to expect when I came to visit in 2021. But over the past month, it has meant so much more to me. It has evolved into a collage of memories with Lana.

The daily konbini and sūpā walks, our spontaneous Uji trip, eating ice cream under the scorching heat, and cooking in our tiny Airbnb kitchen.

Had I known back then that I would be moving here in the coming years, I would have been weirded out. Yet here I am.

Lana changed my life in more ways than one. She even changed Ōsaka for me. So much so that I’m now writing crazy (but soulful) stories to share with you.

…Ready for it?

Let’s dive in.

CHAPTER I: THE ORIGINAL RUNNING MAN

When I first heard Glico Man, I thought, “Well, who the fuck is that?”

People go crazy over this random running man lit-up billboard.

All willing to line up for a photo because it isn’t an Ōsaka trip without rightful proof of his existence in your phone’s gallery.

I know, right?

I don’t get it either.

Also me in 2021:

Anyway, I’m writing this to let you know they’ve allegedly uncovered who this man really is. But I did a little research for verification. Because good journalism.

So…who is Glico Man?

What is Glico man? Why is Glico Man? When is Glico Man?

How? Is? Glico? Man?!

Short answer:

He is supposedly a Filipino athlete.

Long answer:

He's one of Ōsaka’s most iconic landmarks. This neon billboard is something you shouldn’t miss. Because it hasn’t been glowing over Dōtonbori for over 80 years just for you to ignore it.

Ever eaten Pocky or Pretz? That’s the company—Glico (short for glycogen) is a food company that initially distributed Glico caramel, a "nutritious candy fortified with glycogen" for some burst of energy.

The Glico Man was then created to symbolize energy, health, and vitality. Or to evoke the idea of achievement and success, much like a runner crossing the finish line.

All of that combined does a great job of marketing the candy as a "quick source of energy".

This now brings me back to the short answer.

There is a theory going around that The Running Man is based on a Filipino athlete named Fortunato Catalon who won the Far Eastern Games in Tokyo in 1917.

Granted, his finishing pose with both arms raised kinda makes you think this theory has some merit.

But the more viable idea is apparently, the original logo design came across as “scary” to people, prompting them to change it into a happier-looking one.

The modern theory says it is based on Fortunato Catalon, but I’m leaning toward other info saying it is influenced by the famous track and field athletes Sasago Tani and Shizo Kanaguri, who were the “Fortunatos” of Japan at the time.

I don’t know about you, but them choosing Japanese athletes for a Japanese ad instead of a foreigner totally makes sense to me.

But Jopaz, how about our #PinoyPride? Look. At this rate, we can be proud of a random poster of a random person at a random place who has .13% Pinoy blood.

Next thing we know the Donki penguin is based on a Philippine bird that tried to fly but failed.

The point is Glico Man is a beloved piece of Ōsaka's identity and a significant part of Japanese pop culture.

Soulful history. Soulful story.

That’s what matters.

And your photos.

CHAPTER II: THE CURSE OF THE COLONEL

When I first walked along the Dōtonbori River, I thought, “Well, why the fuck is everyone here?”

Do you wanna listen to an urban legend?

Thanks for not asking.

I’m sure you know about the KFC Christmas celebration bucket thing they have, right?

Turns out that’s not the only KFC-related story Japan has.

According to a long-existing myth, the Dōtonbori River is cursed by Colonel Sanders.

As iconic as the Glico Man, this story is too funny to keep to myself.

Once upon a time, in a district far far away, the Hanshin Tigers baseball team won the 1985 Japan Series. Unexpectedly.

Too unexpectedly that their fans back in Dōtonbori felt so overjoyed they had to celebrate the victory. In a really wild way.

The concept:

Some fans dressed up as the Tigers players. The rest did the cheering for every member. Each look-alike player then jumped into the river straight after their chant was over.

The problem:

Randy Bass, the American player, didn’t have representation.

The solution:

Fans flocked to a nearby KFC, collected the life-sized statue of Colonel Sanders, and threw it into the Dōtonbori River.

The consequence:

This is believed to have triggered the Hanshin Tigers’ 18-year losing streak. Nevermind the team’s poor performance—they were obviously cursed by none other than The KFC Colonel.

Since then they accepted that until they recovered the statue, the curse will forever loom over the team.

And it wasn’t until 2009 that Colonel was finally found—missing its glasses and one hand. But even after this, some fans still think the curse remains.

Because the Tigers have yet to win consistent championships since then.

As funny and weird as it sounds, the “Curse of the Colonel” has become a beloved part of Japanese sports folklore ™.

Soulful history. Soulful story.

That’s what matters.

And KFC.

CHAPTER III: “YAKUZA 0”

Yakuza 0 is an open-world, role-playing game (RPG) set in Japan in the late 1980s.

It’s the origin story of Kazuma Kiryu and Yakuza series regular, Goro Majima.

The dramatic story unfolds in two main locations, one inspired by Kabukicho (Kamurochō) in Tōkyō and another inspired by Dōtonbori (Sotonbori) in Ōsaka.

Sotonbori is a detailed fictional recreation of the unique Dōtonbori District.

Whenever I walk over Dōtonbori bridge and see the neon signs, rowdy crowds, and filthy pavement—I’m transported back to Yakuza 0.

Fighting my way through the streets as Majima.

No matter how much time has passed since I last visited Ōsaka, when I return, I always feel like I’ve been dropped right back into that Yakuza video game. 

Look how filthy that pavement is.

But this doesn’t matter because the video game is an immersive Ōsaka experience.

Soulful history. Soulful experiences.

That’s what matters.

And video games (speaking on behalf of Lana).

EPILOGUE

Honestly, I love Tōkyō. The vibe is more peaceful in a sense.

But this place holds a special place in my heart now.

So if you ever visit Dōtonbori, keep these 3 Soulful Stories in mind.

And don't forget to devour the best takoyaki from my friend Kukuru <3.

Stay Soulful!

Jopaz