SOULFUL ENDINGS, SOULFUL BEGINNINGS

I can’t believe it’s been three years.

I arrived in Japan towards the end of 2021. Two suitcases, a backpack, and the heaviest baggage I’ve ever had to carry in my subconscious.

I was very unimpressed.

While the world recovered from the pandemic, I struggled to recover from a broken heart. Everyone would wonder, “Aren’t you happy? You’re living the dream.”

I could only shrug. Hell could never be anybody’s dream. Leaving home, I was filled with hope.

Surely, I could “finally move on.” But my demons don’t have a home. They live inside of me.

I took them here. Pushed them there. Silenced them everywhere. Then I wondered why they lingered.

Winter to spring. Summer to fall. Existing through the seasons, I never truly lived.

Everyone else moved on. They built new lives. Basked in newfound happiness. While I hung on the proverbial thread.

But I gripped it. I gripped it until my hands bled.

Slowly and excruciatingly, I climbed my way up. Slowly and excruciatingly, I uncovered the pains of my past.

With every broken piece, I healed. Slowly and beautifully, the universe transformed.

There was color. And music. Laughter. A new world to explore. I felt more. Joy and anger. Frustration and contentment. The ebbs and flows.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t numb. No, not anymore. And something proved to be true. You find love when you first find it in you.

At the start of 2023, I met Lana. And a couple of weeks ago, I said goodbye to the darkest seasons of my life.

Our new chapter has begun.

We finally made it to Osaka.

The uncertainty is scary. But taking the leap gets us closer to the life we want together.

Living without the usual crutch of a job is unsettling. But it’s equally liberating.

It takes this much courage to change the trajectory of my fate. To keep running after the things I truly want.

And to pave a new future doing what I’m most passionate about.

Because let’s face it, how many of the people you know actually push their boundaries and live outside their comfort zones?

I’m guessing not many, and I refuse to be one of them.

Growth, success, freedom, and everything else I yearn for are on the horizon. But they’re not coming anywhere near unless I do something to attract them.

It takes guts, hard work, and countless hours after midnight to make it happen.

And I am making it happen.

While others doze off to dreamland, I’m here in front of my computer at 1:09 AM doing the most boring act of typing my thoughts away.

Wanna know why? It’s the thing I love most…next to waking up to Lana every morning.

Paradoxically, the harder life throws things at you, the more rewarding it feels. Because for the first time in a really long time, I feel fulfilled again.

I feel a certain kind of peace I’ve never quite experienced elsewhere. I feel exactly where I need to be.

For the first time in my life, I am finally free.

Sorry this took a while.

It's been hectic packing the past 3 years and moving on.

But I'm back to delivering soulful stories straight to your inboxes.

Stay Soulful!

Jopaz